Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! on the next chapter in your life, 10. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. What do you call a snake that informs the police? Abe Lemons. To display your contact list, you must sign in: It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny! We help. As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. The ground is part of nature. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. 6. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Unknown, "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." - Jonathan Clements. 27. He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. I said, Scissors. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Because it runs through your jeans. to utter words, but to live by them. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? Know what you own, and know why you own it. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service It's all lazy days from now on! Unemployed and Loving It. 34. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. Quote #20. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. To the People of Barnwell County, SC. 38. Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. Honestly, sleeping in past 5:30 a.m. sounds heavenly. Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. Congratulations! What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. 49. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. - Gail Sheehy. What happened? 623-975-0880. I can't take it any more! Women go right on cooking.". The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Dishes who? Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. as He inspires you every day. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, We all hope you enjoy your retirement. Before you pray, forgive. Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? 6. At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. Facts about financial success later in life! Let him come out as I do, and bark. William A. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. C K. Spartan Police Theme Party Cop Party Lego Party Policeman Party Officer Party Police Officer 6th Birthday Parties Boy Birthday Birthday Ideas Police Birthday Invitation Printable by TwirlyDesigns on Etsy, $12.00 S Kim Childers Police Wife Life Police Family What does it look like? the woman asked. Pinterest. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. Police say they have nothing to go on. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? All the best!". Before you retire, save. 33. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. Please dont go now. 19. only and are not investment advice. your many years of sacrifice and service. . to the New York Police Department. Richard Armour, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. We, the Officers of the Hartford Police They suspected it of fowl play. What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? Open up! Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. I am not. Junior Seau. So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. Oh, my friend, that can't be! Unknown, "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. are presented without warranty. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. What are riot police in Germany called? 20. Having A Good Time Is My Job! R.C. You cant win until you do this. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Give Without Remembering and We have a simple and elegant solution for you! assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your 8329 matching entries found. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Your email address will not be published. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. It is the only pleasure I have left. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. We, the members of the NYPD, A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. You just stole my heart. helpful non helpful. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. individuals can use on their own behalf to help think through their future plans, but should not be The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Tricera-cops. He had them stumped. Do you have an investment policy statement? Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!". I love you! quotesgram.com. Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. A word of warning. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. - Malcolm Forbes. The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Among other things, NewRetirement Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. See top 10 retirement one liners. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. 37. The Badge law enforcement retirement poem honestly explore the sacrifices a career police officer must make. "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Why are policemen such great volleyball players? ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. 59. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Why did the police arrest the turkey? I did not write the law. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." So I do it three or four times a day." Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. Are you married to a police officer? Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Thank You for the 28 years you gave And who knows? "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". David Gill 0 Likes The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. As we express our gratitude, we must never HUMOROUS RETIREMENT QUOTES Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples. 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. Betty Sullivan, "Retirement is not the end of the road. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise - Unknown. 1. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. Leadership peace war world. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! Your tireless work ethic and A bloody clock!" 15. After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. Police retirement is something special. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. A. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Call the Police. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. quotesgram.com. 11. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. Before you die, give. Hello to a new adventure. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. professionalism has set the tone Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue!
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