George Carlin, I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Broadly speaking. You're down to seven. ", 105. You have owners. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Weve learned how to make aliving, but not alife. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. You ever notice that? George Carlin: 'Rights Aren't Rights If Someone Can Take Them Away' They own you. George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. 2024 George Carlin for president! RIP : r/antiwork Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". AshwaniGarg on Twitter: "RT @JamesMelville: "They own everything 01. Remembering George Carlin : NPR Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. This cookie is set by DoubleClick and is used for re-targeting, optimisation, reporting and attribution of online adverts. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. ", 53. It will not be with jack-boots. "It helps to remember this.. This is what we have to offer. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. George Carlin. 41. You don't. You have no choice. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. Teach them to question everything. And they all vote. (LogOut/ Then youre just what theyre looking for. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. After that, they dont want to know about you. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. ", 23. "Some people see the glass half full. "It's called the American dream . I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. You have no choice. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics You don't say that about cats. LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. ", 83. Forget the politicians. A cat . Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are ", 114. ""Deep Throat: Think about it. Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. They dont give a fuck about you. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. Which doesn't make any sense at all. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. On Election Day, I stay home. Its you. 60+ Hilarious George Carlin Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog ", 61. ", 116. I like people who buck the system. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Everybody complains about politicians. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. Now one of his most famous routines has swept the internet a dozen years after his death. Who Does George Carlin Represent? | by Michael Thompson | Medium "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. ", 124. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' ", 65. You only get to hear cats. George Carlin: Back in Town (1996) - George Carlin as Self - IMDb 'American Dream' documentary examines George Carlin's triumphs - NPR We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". They own all the important land. ", 54. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. ", 100. "How is it possible to have a civil war? This ensures that the cookie consent box will not be presented again upon re-entry. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. (LogOut/ Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? I think the life cycle is all backwards. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a. On Sunday, the 29-year-old Angie revealed that not . And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. Don't miss a beat. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. It's so f**kin' heroic. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. [] I look at war a little bit differently. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. ", 14. Occupy Wall Street activist completely SLAMS FOX News | An unaired interviewfootage, Brand spanking new memes of Bernie Sanders at theInauguration, Bernie Sanders as Grogu (Baby Yoda) from TheMandalorian, The best of Bernie Sanders memes from BidensInauguration, Obama was better at everything Video comparison Obama vstrump, Lindsey Graham states that African Americans can go anywhere in SC as long as theyre conservative, The best description of trump Ive seenyet, Woman with Fake Boobs Larger than Watermelons - Seriously, she's a Z-cup, Houston TX Officer on Trial for Stealing Food from Fridge, The Princeton Random Generator that "predicted" 9/11, The Top 20 Things You Can Say to Irritate a Republican, Popular Toys and Games from the 1970s and 1980s, The Return of Debtors' Prisons - SLUniverse Forums. Nobeody seems to care. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Deal with it. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. 120+ George Carlin Quotes On Politics, Government And Religion It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. ", 43. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You think your current financial. ", 101. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. He missed this one. They own and control the corporations. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. MediaMath sets this cookie to avoid the same ads from being shown repeatedly and for relevant advertising. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. They don't want to hear from you . ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ", 102. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. #AmericaWakeUp. "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? You voted them in. If a dog can do it, you can watch. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. This cookie is set by pippio to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. ", 66. "Forget the politicians. OK? Weve added years to life, not life to years. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. They dont wanna hear from you. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. They never mention that part to us, do they? If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. This cookie stores a visitor's unique identifier for Chartbeat tracking on the site. Take George Carlin, for example. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. ' Avoid teams at all costs. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. They've got you by the balls. After that, they don't wanna know about you. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. Yeah, the public sucks. But once the child is born? It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. ", 36. Fascism won it. "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? ", 120. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. "Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my d**k or I'll call the police. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed.
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